Interested in getting the funda of those ever so cool college dudes who always seem to be calm and composed no matter what the teacher throws at you? Well, we interviewed just the right guy for the purpose and we weren’t disappointed. Besides, we even got to know a side of him we never had seen before. We try to take a glimpse into the part of him that lies within the aura of ‘dudeism’ surrounding him. For purposes of anonymity, we’ll call him Mr. Davidoff.
Q- Hello Mr. Davidoff and thanks for your valuable time. Could you please enlighten our readers a bit about this philosophy of dudeism?
A- First, I need my chai and maska-bun (grabs it and takes a sip). Dude is any person who does not take offence from anyone. He has his own personal beliefs and mantra and he sticks by them. He does not give a damn what the masses have to say about him. Dudeism and patience go hand in hand.
Q- So did this come naturally to you or did you work for it?
A- I would say it’s 50/50. Things like patience and dexterity are those that you inherit and cannot develop overnight. But you learn from experiences to set your beliefs upon certain principles and then you just keep going.
Q- So how does this way of life hold with your life’s relationships?
A- It’s a bit tough if you are not accustomed to it. People generally hold an introvert image of mine. They would think that this fellow would not like to socialize or so. But the less people you deal with, the less B.S. you have to handle. So as far as life’s relations are concerned, they keep changing a lot. Before you enter college, you feel like Yeah you would have a 50-60 people group and it would be all pomp and show but when you really come to the ground, you hang around with a very small bunch. These are people who match your wavelength and that’s how your circle forms.
Q- Taking it up from here, tell us about your first romantic relationship.
A- This was in my class 9.
Q- (interrupting) and she was in?
A- In class 9 only (Oh the anticlimax!)
Q- I am sorry, please go on.
A- Like any Indian kid, I was forced to get into tuitions for Maths, even though I didn’t really need one. I was almost a prodigy in Maths and so everyone used to come to me for clearing doubts and for any help they wanted. Among them was ‘SHE’ too. We started with the usual study talks and slowly started to get to know each other.
Then, one fine Friday morning, we were returning from our classes on foot after a test. I was to drop her at her home but she called me in. Then she introduced me to her parents, we talked a bit, had tea and got to know each other. She also had an elder sister who came later and she got us to meet. Things really got picked up from there and I knew we were more than just friends.
Q- You mentioned her ‘elder-sister’ with quite a grin. Did something happen?
A- NO, nothing like that. She was just part of some silly jokes among my friends that came upto me talking about her.
Q- Very well, so how did the story reach its zenith?
A- Like in the best of books, it happened with separation. My father got transferred to another city and our relation-ship came to jolts. It was then that I found myself thinking about her a lot and realized I needed to let it out. So, in the month of March, going into our class 11, we met and I proposed to her. She reciprocated her feelings for me and we were a couple.
Q- Having known you for some time now Mr. Davidoff, I understand that it was a long serious relationship but I also know that it came to an end. Please tell us about that, you can be discreet if you like.
A- I don’t mind talking about it and it is something I am comfortable with unless you prod me too much to get into the finer details. The thing is that after our +2 studies, she came to Jaipur. Now I could have gone anywhere but just for her, I myself came here, not in the same college of course. We began with our college lives and it was all fine and good maintaining a relationship. We would talk everyday and meet at weekends sometimes. The first year was more or less fine. But something seemed to have changed. It appeared to me that I was no longer her priority. Then those few meets we used to have started drying up and in some corner of my mind, I knew that something was fishy. But I was blinded by love. Still, I gave her hints that I was not comfortable but it lead to nothing. We started hitting roadblocks but still, I kept things going, giving her all my time, giving her all her space so as to revive things between us.
By the end of our second year I came to know she had fallen for some other guy at her college. We had had a 4 year serious relationship, and that is just counting the ‘after-proposal’ part. But she let that go for nothing. So I too thought of pulling the final straw and of putting an end to this cliche.
Q- This almost sounded sad, Mr. Davidoff. Was it as bad as it looks?
A- It was bad Yes, but as I mentioned, I learn from my experiences and this was one of my greatest.
Q- To shed away the negativity for a while, let us tell you something pleasant to your ears. We seem to always hear good things about you and you are in everyone’s good books, even those who may not know you all that well. How does it feel to know this given your earlier remark that you find others judging you as being anti-social?
A- It feels good actually (Asks for another chai). The thing is that I am not judgmental and open to everyone for talking and if they need my help. I am good to everyone but at my best with my friends.
Q- So, what type of people do you like?
A- As I said, I am not judgmental and so I am attracted to people who share the same thing. Honesty is important. When I befriend someone or am in any relation with anyone, I don’t want it to be a give and take sort of business. There should not be any obligations and anything that comes up should come directly from the heart.
Q- We have recently observed some “do dil mil rahe hain” sort of rumours surrounding you. Would you like to clear the air?
A- Those are not rumours, they are facts. I really am in a new relationship and happier than ever with her. She was a batch-mate in my first year but we only started conversing in the second year. Things started building up and now we are a couple.
Q- That sounds like you were equally infidel in your earlier relationship. How can you ‘blame’ the girl entirely for her developing feelings towards some other guy while back here, you were doing the same?
A- It’s nothing like that. Hers started first and this was when there was just one and one girl in my life. Just as her relationship with the other guy started building, ours started collapsing and that lead to me getting close to the new girl.
Q- So, it was like, you are being held by two ropes and as the first one is beginning to slack, the second one is pulling you tighter?
A- Exactly like that, could not have said it better myself ( Of course you couldn’t. After all who is the blogger? 😉 ). Actually, I wasn’t the one to give the match to the new relationship. She approached first, was totally evident in that and I felt attracted to her. She was the catalyst to my breaking up, Yes, but then she was the better girl. With the first one, I was just doing things and favours, believing that all of this needs to be done. But with her. I feel so easy.
Q- We wish that you find better things with this girl of yours. Coming to the concluding parts of our interview, please tell us about the most impactful moments of your life.
A- It is something real close to me and my family but I still feel like telling this. This begins with things I have come to know from my family and ends at my own life lessons.
My parents got married in 1993 and they had a baby in ’94. It was born with its umbilical cord wrapped around its neck. Now according to procedure, the doctors are not supposed to cut the cord unless the baby cries but since there was a danger of the baby choking here, they did. It was then in incubator for three weeks (generally it’s 1 week) but later its internal organs failed and it couldn’t survive. Then in ’95, I was born. They tell me that when I was born, my parents had the same fear. Even I didn’t cry for some time but later did. Still, I was kept in an incubator for 2 weeks and the doctors found that I had some abnormal kidney functioning. They told my parents about it but added that it would pass as I grew up.
From then till when I was 4, my grandmother used to take care of me in every way. She was like a second mother to me and I was the closest to her. I was fine and healthy and everyone felt I had overcame any problems I had at birth. Then, my grandmother passed away. It was a jolt for me even at that age and I missed having her there for me. Almost then, my health started deteriorating and I fell sick often. By the time I was 7, the kidney problem was so bad that I had to visit the hospital every other day for some dialysis sort of thing. I had my first operation at that tender age. Still, things weren’t resolved and I used to fall ill with fever every second week continuously. We weren’t very well to do then and so I kept on asking nothing.
It was the same till my class 11. Uptil then, we had become good with things financially and I had gotten to deal with them too. Then some day, my father heard about this research center in Switzerland that could cure me. They took me there telling me it was a vacation and there I was told I was to be operated. I went under the blade and finally, I was cured.
The reason I call this impactful because this is what has made me what I am now. I do not expect big things from people anymore and love what I get. Guess, that’s what takes a guise of being a ‘dude’ in me.
Q- That was pretty much the best thing we have heard about you. It is a part of you that we never saw under the ‘dude’ part, Mr. Davidoff. We intended to ask you more but frankly, we are at a loss. Please share with our readers one advice you would like to give them and we are done.
A- Just be grateful for what you have and never judge. And as I always tell people, ‘Chill Maar’.
Interviewer’s note: We saw how every dude isn’t just that, much like no person you meet is only what he/she appears from the outside. This is a chilled out dude; we know that because while we thought we were paying for those chais and buns, as a token of gratitude for having this interview, he stepped in to pay after it was over. Yes he is a dude, but he is much more than that. We would be finding many others like him and sharing their stories with you all. Till then, ‘Chill maaro’.