I do not know whether I would be on the leader-board anymore by the time I finish writing this post. This first line may not sound right to you because it is part of a long drawn out journey, a navigation through a hectic month.
I should probably be worried as I type these words ever so slowly on my word editor. Maybe I am. Maybe I am trying to fool me into thinking the opposite whereas deep down, I am as restless as those above and below me on the leader-board. But this post is not about all that, and the fact that I have mentioned these things before coming to what I really want to say is something I should be sinned for.
It began on January the 19th, a marathon like no other and a month that would go down as one of the most memorable in the life of everyone who participated in it. There is a whole spectrum of emotions that this fantastico month has offered me. It gave me moments where I was angry, disappointed, sad. It showed me times which brought those rare smiles of pure happiness on my face. But it will all be over tomorrow. And tomorrow, another new chapter will begin.
I have no doubt that this would be my last post for the marathon. As such, I feel like making it as creative as I can. But I am not able to. Sometimes, when you write fiction, you come with such beautiful ideas that you marvel if you yourself have written them. But that seldom happens when you are stating facts. I say ‘facts’ and not ‘truth’ because even I do not know what the truth is.
There are posts that I am proud of to have written in this month. There are few of them that are born out of the most intimate desires of my heart and as such, they will sound good to me even when a few years down the line I revisit them and find how downright ordinary my writing is. There are other posts that I feel I have sacrificed the quality of, just so I could boast high on quantity. I would apologize to them when they come haunting me in my dreams someday. I guess they will forgive me and understand my predicament.
If I say that I do not care about winning or losing anymore, I would be telling the whitest lie to you. If I say that, you can personally come to my room someday to give me two slaps left and right and I would be alright. But something tells me I wouldn’t be saying that. I am writing my heart out here and sometimes when you do that, it doesn’t make much sense. But there is one thing that my heart tells me right now and at the moment, it’s making sense to me. It’s telling me that I would not be looking back at this past month with disappointment.
There are many takeaways that I have. I have earned some followers to my blog, they sometimes comment on a piece they like and my happiness knows no bounds. I got into habit of using wordpress on a daily basis. I have been working on it for a year or so but the ‘getting in drift of things’ part has happened this month only. I also learned about a glorious yet joyful mistake of mine. I have been using my primary email-id for this blog. And so, every time someone hits that like button, I get an email notification there. I always open the mail and check it out. It tells me that so and so person liked my post and that “they thought it was pretty awesome”. Everytime I read this line, for a second there I always believe it literally. Then my mind tells me some BS about networking and that’s what bloggers have to do in order to widen their blog’s reach blah blah blah and some other nonsense. I never pay heed to it and bask in the glory of being awesome.
I received 20 genuine comments for the ninety odd posts I wrote on this blog in the past month. It may not look like a good number but I have treasured each and everyone of them, reopening my posts multiple times just to have a look at them. I have replied to them all, mostly with a longer text asking those lovely people to keep visiting and guiding the blog towards better writing in future. I have at times, edited the comments that I had replied to them, just to come up with something better to thank them with.
I also created a facebook page for this blog which had been lying a bit neglected under a premier blog of mine. I call that other blog ‘a premier blog’ just because it gets some hits now and then 😛 It isn’t really all that premier, so to speak. I have a feeling this post has gotten too long for anyone to care for it. But I am not going to edit any line of it. I would just finish it with a good quote and publish it and then submit it back on the Marathon with the hope that I eventually win something.
"when you work you fulfil a part of earth’s furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born, And in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life" - Khalil Gibran, The Prophet