May | 2021 | Takhallus-e-Haqeeqat

The saddest betrayal is not the one incurred on us by other people. The saddest betrayal, to me, is one of words; when they refuse to give meaning to the plethora of emotions I am feeling. So, what is it that I am feeling? I’m still at a loss of words. What am I doing here, then? In the world of words when I am out of words? Well, I am going to give it the old college try. I wonder whether there are emotions beyond the spectrum of human comprehension, which make us feel things we can’t understand, or define, or address. That hypothesis of course, makes the assumption that this occurrence is a commonality amongst the entire human race. And if it is, it’s probably getting lost in the multitudes of workaday chores, or what we have optimistically agreed to call ‘life’. We say “That’s life.”, and move on. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against moving on. And even the fact that I thought to write about something so trivial, is going to make me cringe tomorrow. But in this moment, “life” hasn’t caught up with me yet. In this moment, I’m vulnerable, and weak, and losing confidence with every passing minute. And I can’t help but wonder why is it that we must continue to entangle ourselves in drudgery, to escape introspection? Or is that the design of the world? To keep us distracted, never allowing a moment to look within. Is this that I experience, the divide that keeps us from falling into the abyss of hermeticism? Is it my vanity that prompts me to think of it as an abyss, when in reality, it may just be the path to enlightenment? But who has the time to ponder, who has the inclination to wonder. That’s life.

Nature has its unique and cruel ways to bring about humility to the human civilization. But, only once in a while, does it incur atrocities so brutal, that they bring the entirety of the system to its knees. The lockdown will go down in history as an event that managed to touch each and every life in the world. I had my own share of uncertainties, but curled up and coddled in the comfort of a home, I could not be obtuse enough to rant or complain about them. Instead, I was introspecting. A recent piece of information had hit me hard. Apparently, in Information Technology Multinational Corporations, there is a protocol called Risk Management, under which, if a country were to undergo a nuclear attack, the organization would find a way to be fully operational within 48 hours of the contingency. And yet, when a virus broke out, the mechanisms of the world came to a standstill, and lives became mere statistics. I began to question the nature of the system, and its misguided priorities, and found some weird solace in the fact that one of the best movies of all time, had come to this realization long before I did.

हर इक जिस्म घायल
हर इक रूह प्यासी
निगाहों में उलझन
दिलों में उदासी

यहाँ इक खिलौना है
इन्सां की हस्ती
ये बस्ती है मुर्दा–परस्तों की बस्ती
यहाँ पर तो जीवन से है मौत सस्ती
ये दुनिया अगर मिल भी जाए तो क्या है